Is there such thing as a situational extrovert?
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I think I’m a situational extrovert.
Generally, I’m an introvert. Actually, I’m a shy introvert which has complications of it’s own. When I have to interact in a situation or setting where I feel out of my comfort zone — i.e. large groups of people, social situations where I don’t know people well — I get quite anxious.
It starts a day or so before the event and I exhaust myself with overthinking and worrying how I will handle the situation before I even get there. Then, as with introverts, about half an hour in, I’ve had enough and my low-battery light begins to blink. I crave the solace and quiet of alone time. And, it takes quite a while for me to recover afterwards.
However, when I’m in a situation where I feel in control and I’m invested in, I’m a very different person.
For example, if I’m at a concert. I can handle the thousands of people around me, all focused on the stage and losing ourselves to the music. I guess that makes sense and there’s no room for small talk.
If I’m at a book event, particularly one where I’m either hosting or being interviewed, I love it. Sounds crazy, right? A shy introvert having no problem with being up in front of others talking. But, when it’s something I know, a situation where I’m in control and it’s something I love, I don’t think twice. I come home tired, but buzzing. Then I come down from the high and look forward to some quiet time.
New York City is another example. The city that never sleeps. Isn’t it odd that it’s my favourite city? A shy, introvert not being bothered by the millions of people and the hustle and the bustle. Granted, I’ve only been there as a tourist so that’s a little different.
Then there’s netball coaching. Another situation where I’m 100% invested. Give me a team, a ball and a court and I’m there for it. I could coach all day long. Train, motivate, cheer, coach. All of it. I’m not so great at the social side of it. I’m happy to do my thing with the team on the day and then go home rather than catch up afterwards.
So does all of this make me a situational extrovert?
I’m not sure.
I still do need time from each to recuperate so perhaps not.
But I wonder, do others feel like this?
Are introverts always introverts?
Are extroverts always extroverts?
Or am I simply an ambivert?
Or maybe—which is highly likely—I’m just overthinking it.
Thoughts?
This is definitely me and I wonder if it makes us Ambiverts. I get anxious before anything social beyond my closest friends -and especially things where I am the focus - even teaching, which I love. However, if I am passionate about the topic/event then I am fine within a minute of starting. And I will feel energised afterwards. But unstructured socialising with people I don’t know well I find heightens my anxiety and depending on the occasion and how it goes, I will need time to recover. Even if I enjoyed myself. But I don’t think any of this internal struggle is obvious to the outside eye. People often think I am an extrovert because I am friendly and can be super talkative. That often just is a mask for my anxiety though!
I wonder if no one is any one thing. Can someone really be an introvert or extrovert all the time?
Love this overthinking post!
I think we can be all of these things. I am energised by people but also crave alone time. I think all the Covid lockdowns broke me socially for a while. I felt quite drained and avoided large crowds for a long time.
Sometimes I grumble about going somewhere like a book event or a social get-together but come home all excited that I went. I'm rarely disappointed I made the effort to socialise. I am finding now I'm older though, I am choosier about the company I keep.