This is definitely me and I wonder if it makes us Ambiverts. I get anxious before anything social beyond my closest friends -and especially things where I am the focus - even teaching, which I love. However, if I am passionate about the topic/event then I am fine within a minute of starting. And I will feel energised afterwards. But unstructured socialising with people I don’t know well I find heightens my anxiety and depending on the occasion and how it goes, I will need time to recover. Even if I enjoyed myself. But I don’t think any of this internal struggle is obvious to the outside eye. People often think I am an extrovert because I am friendly and can be super talkative. That often just is a mask for my anxiety though!
I wonder if no one is any one thing. Can someone really be an introvert or extrovert all the time?
I think it's so interesting that many who seem to be extroverts also struggle in social situations. That's the danger of labels. There's never a one-size-fits-all.
I was about to mention being an Ambivert. At times I hold back and wait and assess the situation but at other times,-for example, public speaking/author talk/I can be quite a show pony. Yet at a meet-and-mingle event, I may not be so good. I can over-socialise,exhaust myself and need time to recover.
I think we can be all of these things. I am energised by people but also crave alone time. I think all the Covid lockdowns broke me socially for a while. I felt quite drained and avoided large crowds for a long time.
Sometimes I grumble about going somewhere like a book event or a social get-together but come home all excited that I went. I'm rarely disappointed I made the effort to socialise. I am finding now I'm older though, I am choosier about the company I keep.
Ha! You know me, always overthinking. I can't say I always come back from social events glad I went. Sometimes I come back so exhausted that I regret going, but other times I come back thinking it wasn't as bad as I expected. And I'm definitely choosier the older I get. Comes with age, and not having any Fs left to give!
I’m all of these things. I can be the life of the party (if I know the people there) but will have worried about it in advance. Crowds do my head in, and I have to have my own space to run to if at a conference - it’s like I forget where I end and others begin. The only way I can deal with going away with friends is if I have my own room.
I always thought of myself as an extrovert, but ambivert is probably more accurate. I thrive spending time with others, and rarely run out of social battery. However, I was so happy and content in lockdown, and my anxiety decreased hugely. I love alone time. I love New York, and Tokyo, and don’t feel overwhelmed in a big city. I’m surprised you think of yourself as an introvert, Jodi. You’re such a natural ‘people person.’
This is definitely me and I wonder if it makes us Ambiverts. I get anxious before anything social beyond my closest friends -and especially things where I am the focus - even teaching, which I love. However, if I am passionate about the topic/event then I am fine within a minute of starting. And I will feel energised afterwards. But unstructured socialising with people I don’t know well I find heightens my anxiety and depending on the occasion and how it goes, I will need time to recover. Even if I enjoyed myself. But I don’t think any of this internal struggle is obvious to the outside eye. People often think I am an extrovert because I am friendly and can be super talkative. That often just is a mask for my anxiety though!
I wonder if no one is any one thing. Can someone really be an introvert or extrovert all the time?
I think it's so interesting that many who seem to be extroverts also struggle in social situations. That's the danger of labels. There's never a one-size-fits-all.
I was about to mention being an Ambivert. At times I hold back and wait and assess the situation but at other times,-for example, public speaking/author talk/I can be quite a show pony. Yet at a meet-and-mingle event, I may not be so good. I can over-socialise,exhaust myself and need time to recover.
It's interesting isn't it? I think ambivert is the best description. Somewhere along the scale depending on the situation.
Love this overthinking post!
I think we can be all of these things. I am energised by people but also crave alone time. I think all the Covid lockdowns broke me socially for a while. I felt quite drained and avoided large crowds for a long time.
Sometimes I grumble about going somewhere like a book event or a social get-together but come home all excited that I went. I'm rarely disappointed I made the effort to socialise. I am finding now I'm older though, I am choosier about the company I keep.
Ha! You know me, always overthinking. I can't say I always come back from social events glad I went. Sometimes I come back so exhausted that I regret going, but other times I come back thinking it wasn't as bad as I expected. And I'm definitely choosier the older I get. Comes with age, and not having any Fs left to give!
London is my favourite city and while I feel claustrophobic on the subway, the city energises me.
I’m all of these things. I can be the life of the party (if I know the people there) but will have worried about it in advance. Crowds do my head in, and I have to have my own space to run to if at a conference - it’s like I forget where I end and others begin. The only way I can deal with going away with friends is if I have my own room.
Maybe I'm more normal than I think!
Or more Piscean than you think.
Oooh very true.
I always thought of myself as an extrovert, but ambivert is probably more accurate. I thrive spending time with others, and rarely run out of social battery. However, I was so happy and content in lockdown, and my anxiety decreased hugely. I love alone time. I love New York, and Tokyo, and don’t feel overwhelmed in a big city. I’m surprised you think of yourself as an introvert, Jodi. You’re such a natural ‘people person.’